Mathematically articulate?

It still confounds me that math exists.


Truly, if we evolved into the intelligence that we have, and we stumbled onto numbers, and then we "realized" that the universe could be explained by them, and then that there were things about the universe that we couldn't explain except through math... Well, did we find math or did math find us?  Isn't it true then that we are merely parts of the equation of this all-consuming math?


But then we'd be that part of the equation that is aware of itself... Or is that simply the function, neither transcending nor affecting the equation beyond our mechanically infused capability, an f(x) in this world of axes?  Even if we were to burst out of the system, wouldn't we have been mathematically inclined to drive ourselves through that wall?


What the hell is mathematical inclination, anyway?  A proclivity to do what we were programmed to do?  That we were to "change" when we were really just programmed to since the beginning, only seemingly spontaneous, but really, it was just supposed to happen like that anyway?  Like how puberty in a child seems sudden and eventful, when, really, it's a manifestation of the coding of our genes?


And, what the hell am I doing wearing this ugly green shirt?  WAS I SUPPOSED TO?  This morning, in a mathematical sense, being that this green shirt was the least worn of my shirts, and because my hand, distance-wise, was that much closer to this shirt than the other shirts I haven't worn much, I seized it and went on to look like a DOUCHE for the rest of the day?


Was I mathematically inclined to look ugly today!?