As the sky and the ground

Sometimes we can find out great truths about ourselves by considering those things that we do unconsciously.  Those things that we do without even thought must mean they are automatic and, therefore, innate within our nature.  This can reveal things about ourselves, but then, it can go further to show us how we relate to our environment as well.

When things are stable or certain, our hands tend to face their palms down and seemingly pat the ground in front of us.  We may not bend down to literally touch the earth, but we motion it in the air.  Or we signify it when we're talking to someone to calm down from anger or excitement.  We refer to the earth when we want to signify stability- that is, "grounded".

The universal sign for questions or uncertainty is hands open and palms up to the sky.  We may further signify it by raising arms or shoulders to the sky before dropping them back down, i.e. a shrug.  The sky, and all that it contains, is vastly unknown, and, therefore, it signifies instability for us.

However, instability doesn't always have to own a negative connotation- it offers the chance for change, hopefully for the better.  To submerge into the unknown and to break the surface with something better exemplifies what it means to live.  Doesn't achievement prompt us to throw our arms into the air?  It's because achievement steps out of the unknown as something favorable.

So, stability may be good, but it is not all.  We feel most alive when we plant our roots in novel soil, and we flourish.

Meet me there

The greatest thing ever done is probably the most well-kept secret.  The very fact that such a groundbreaking event is kept a secret is what probably makes it the greatest thing ever done.  The moment it's discovered, its myth becomes reality, and it'll fall in line with all things mainstream, and that pretty much destroys any chance of it retaining the title as the greatest thing ever done.

I'm just rambling because I realized that social media brings to light so many things, and certain videos and articles blow up overnight.  Thus, it drives me a bit crazy to think that there may be things out there that haven't ever surfaced, that there are things that I do not own the potential to know.  If something is on the internet, at least there's the chance that I'll see it, and I get to sleep well at night- not so for those things that are not yet filmed.

So we live in a world that thrives on knowledge, and the thirst for exposure is overwhelming- but doesn't that mean that we've created a new boundary, that we've drawn a new line?  There's the world that is tied to media and the internet, whereas there's an entire world that cannot be touched by the eye of the camera, a world that thrives simply because it is not exposed, one that must be experienced rather than seen.  And that drives me crazy.  I have to go find it.

Meet me there.

Thanks for reading.

JUST A DREAM

YUH YUH..

I DON'T KNOW THESE EMOTIONS, I WAS BOASTIN THE IMPORTANCE

OF MOST OF THESE MOTIONS MOVING TOWARDS THE COORDINATES

THE DESTINATION OF MY DREAMS, BUT I'M SO OVER THESE FORTUNES

ANY MORE OF THESE LOSSES AND I'LL STAY ON MORE OF THESE VERSES

MAN THESE HORRORS ARE THOUGHTLESS, NO HEART ON THE ROSTER

DON'T WANNA OVERWHELM THE PRINCESS I'D BE DAMNED IF I COST HER

FLASHING LIGHTS IN MY CHEST CAVITY CAN IT BE THEY WEAKEN WITH AGE

MY HEART IN THE SPOTLIGHT SINGS ITSELF OUT, I'M RUSHIN THE STAGE

QUIET BEHIND CLOSED CURTAINS BUT THE SHOW STARTS AND I SHINE

THE BASS IN MY HEART BETRAYS MY FEARS BUT EY, THEY AIN'T MINE

WITH IMPATIENCE I BAIT TIME I'M TIMELESS BRUH WHEN I CREATE LINES

THESE FLOATIN CHANCES WITH BOTH THESE HANDS WHEN I FIGURED THAT FATE LIES

PULL ME OUT WHEN I'M LOST IN THINGS, I NEED ONLY JUST A STREAM

I'LL MAGNIFY JUST A GLEAM INTO A THOUSAND BEAMS SO WATCH ME BLING

FALL TO MY KNEES TO CRY OUT FOR HONESTY, IF THERE'S SUCH A THING

A SMILE ON A FACELESS CROWD, I SMILED TILL I WOKE UP TO JUST A DREAM

DEUCES.

A Note to Self

Dear Kit,

What is the matter with you?  Confidence is rooted in the inside.  Patience, my heart, for all things come in good time; anticipation makes for a truly fortified beginning.  Be a man and accept the things you cannot change; only then will you readily see the things that can be affected.  The stronger the grip, the quicker the loss, so do not coerce, but, rather, guide.  Be warned that it will truly test patience, but the rewards will be abundant.  True strength comes from within, remember?

Kit, I know that you believe you are strong enough, but you are not.  I don't say this in the hopes of discouraging you, but, rather, to fully encourage you into lighting the passion again, to once more reach for the stars and wrap your fingers around something brighter.  Remember the peace in your heart?  The strength that you felt, reinforced by the passion that burned?  However, the candle does not light itself; rather, you must let the hands of a higher power envelop you.

Kit, I acknowledge your potential, but remember that potential amounts to absolutely nothing unless it is cultivated.  The seed feeds no one, but its fruits allude to the hope of alleviating hunger.  Hope is good, but let it spill into the world as something definite and concrete.

One cannot fight fire with fire; one must flood the flames.  Produce water, Kit.

I digress

My thoughts enter in a flurry, picking up and haphazardly throwing around the things of my world in its wake.  The crevices of my mind have made themselves known today- they're incessant.  They aren't unwelcome- perfection is unsettling, and mankind marvels at blemishes, swoons over imperfections that make a thing seem the work of a genius.  My thoughts, however, give me no satisfaction of such notions- rather, they are intrusive today.  They aren't unwelcome, but they are unfriendly nonetheless.  Most of the time, I acknowledge them, but nothing more.  My stride does not change, there are no manifestations of them in my world save the purposeful avoidance of such things that would innocently bring up those thoughts.  Ironically, they are already brought up if I am to avoid them.  But it doesn't matter, I work to avoid the consequences.

But what does avoidance accomplish?  It does well to fight back the early pricks of anxiety, but it concretely adds up to nothing.  Energy is lost to gain nothing.  Shouldn't all things work to produce positivity rather than to stifle the opposition?  Wouldn't the exercise of the former yield the latter?  No matter.  I guess I try to fight back certain thoughts because I find them inconsequential and a waste of time.

But they come in a flurry.  There's no way to distinguish one as distinct, there are so many that they can only be counted as one, collective and related.

My thoughts are who I am, I'm sure.  I don't deny them; honestly, I believe I embrace them, only long enough to do them justice as a part of me, a sub-clause in my definition, but how I deal with them also defines me.  I can't help who I am; at the same time, I can.  These paradoxical notions of my identity color my canvas, finding balance in the most complex of ways.

To struggle is beautiful.  It is life-giving, it is a blessing.  The sublime exposes the underbelly, but then we realize that it is all the same organism.  Like the booming city, with all its color, its vivacity, its important people, there are those unseen who work in the shadows of the glamorous that make the glamorous possible. To struggle is to escape despair.  Despair comes in the wide gape of idleness, and it paints a scary world for those who peek.  The world reflects the nature of a person's thoughts.  If one is idle, what hope can come from a stagnant world, so conveyed by a stagnant mind?

So you may wonder where the beauty lies.  Beauty is meant to be appreciated, and we can all see that the fabric beauty of the commercial world is meant for nothing other than appeal.  Beauty, when it enters the mind, is supposed to awe.  And so, where is beauty in the struggle, in the dark underbelly of the appealing beast?

It is in hope and faith.  A struggle is only a struggle when one works in a progressive direction.  One doesn't even need to move in that direction, just at least intend it.  To see the light of hope in a place where despair seems imminent is, I think, awe-inspiring and beautiful without question- because struggling is literally the act of hoping.

Thanks for reading.

Beginning

"Rain and Hail" inspires imageries of intense natural power.

They are both nouns that allude to rare occurrences of weather that are simply awe-inspiring.

I named this blog "Reign and Hail" because, as transitive verbs, they refer to a relationship between heaven and earth that should be as equally, if not more, natural than weather and infinitely more powerful.

God and man.  He reigns, and we hail.

This past Sunday, I gave a brief testimony at my church, the Hanbit English Ministry, because we have no youth pastor and the head pastor was apparently too busy to speak this week.  I wasn't given too much time to prepare because they asked me Saturday night to speak the following morning, and so I found myself at my desk for hours that evening trying to come up with something to say, mostly spent in silence just rummaging through my memories.

I have to admit that as praise went on and the time for me to speak approached, I began to feel very nervous.  I couldn't believe how nervous I felt, and yet, somewhere deeper than the anxiety, I was calm and ready.  I felt this because of a divine feeling of purpose regarding the whole thing- it felt like there was a cosmic Hand that planned for me to speak, considering that I had always wanted to say something to the group before I left for Korea in two weeks.  I'd be leaving for an entire year, so I didn't want to leave without saying something first.  Next Sunday would be my last Sunday attending church, but, apparently, our church is having a picnic next week, and so I would not have had the chance to say something at the park in the manner in which I spoke to them this past week.

Talking to them felt like tying a loose end, and it left me feeling whole.  This group of people has come to mean so much to me, and I feel almost like I'm betraying them by leaving them at such a crucial time- our youth pastor left, and our head pastor is leaving soon as well.  However, the original plan had been to leave almost two months earlier.  God imposed, and my plans happily shattered.  I got to spend more time with them, and my faith in their ability to thrive without leadership was solidified.  Without leadership, leaders emerged.  Also, I got the chance to get closer to our college group through the Wednesday night meetings.  These past months have become simply priceless.

Thanks for reading.