And so it seems that I've become that age where I find myself relative to society. Even with no effort, I find that I am already a part of it, but if I don't show an initiative, I'll gain an undesirable place in it all. So I've found that I have proclivities and talents which may serve me well. However, I have become somewhat distraught by the prospect of things.
I know I have to take part in society, but I'm hating that I'm beginning to identify myself with it. I'm beginning to see that my values are unconsciously being compromised to fit society's much better, but then that would mean that much of what is original about me is being relinquished.
The ironic thing about society is that it compels you to take and take and take to build an identity around it, and then this, somehow, is supposed to make you feel unique or original.
And the dangerous thing is that I find myself absent-mindedly buying into it. It's at those moments when I catch myself doing this that I have the most internal conflict and anxiety-- cuz then I start thinking that I don't measure up, and I have to recall the basis of my confidence to keep from falling into a deeply vain trap.
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