It's a great battle we wage against ourselves. Everyone must wage it, and everyone must win if they hope to pursue a greater triumph of the soul. But if the war is between two selves of the same whole, then there is an innate dilemma that presents itself in a two-dimensional choice-- one must identify with the winning self, and one must identify with the better self. To claim one and disregard the other is to fail because one offers the means while the other offers the direction. How utterly useless would it be to put on the shoes to walk, but cannot find the way?
When I say 'better self' I am, of course, referring to a morally superior half-- because to identify with the winning self that is not also morally conscious is to succeed at failing. And to only choose the morally upright half that is not also the winning half is to fail at succeeding.
I personally think I am the latter; that is, I identify with the moral side of the battle, but I confess that it is the losing side. I feel the anxiety of an impending doom-- though all strategic maneuvers have seemed to fail, I keep hoping for a miracle, one small enough to occur in someone as insignificant and undeserving as me, to change the course of this losing battle.
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